


All The Honesty I've Ever Lost

by Mack_the_Spoon



Series: Bloodlines [2]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Episode: s02e11 Ruslan Denisov, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3757000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mack_the_Spoon/pseuds/Mack_the_Spoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The murder of the harbor master comes back to haunt Liz just as she's trying to deal with Red's latest life-changing revelation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Honesty I've Ever Lost

**Author's Note:**

> This has nothing to do with the actual case from 'Ruslan Denisov'. Instead, this takes place after my previous fic, "In From The Cold", and also immediately following the events of Namarie's story, "With Everything I've Lost". It will make more sense if you've read those stories. The other ones in our 'Bloodlines' AU series would probably help, too.
> 
> Also, thanks to Namarie for editing.

~~~~~~~

Liz wondered if there was some rule written somewhere that every time she experienced a major life upheaval, other huge problems had to be added in immediately. It had been exactly nine days since Red had turned her life upside down again, for what seemed like it had to be the millionth time. This time, she was... happy? That was too simple a word to sum up the huge turmoil of emotions his revelation had churned up.

And she knew it would take time to sort through those emotions – which was why she just did not feel ready to deal with anything else when she got the phone call that night. Learning that the whole thing with Tom was not only not over (of course it wasn't, since he wasn't dead), but that it might come back on her was enough to almost make her hang up on the overly polite police detective. Instead, though, she took a deep breath and told him that she couldn't discuss her reasons for being on the boat. She still hung up as soon as she could, though.

Then she threw her phone onto her bed and flopped down. This was not good. Not at all. She had been foolish to pretend it wouldn't happen, though. She hadn't exactly been thinking very clearly during that time period, and she knew she'd been reckless. She should call Red right now. That would make sense. He wouldn't be worried, and he'd have a plan in no time.

Instead, she stared at her phone for several minutes before deciding against it. It probably wasn't logical, but she was reluctant to bring this into the fragile balance they were trying to strike in their relationship. In the past few days, Red had started to give her more answers – real, meaningful answers. And it had seemed like it was helping him to be able to tell her, as well. This stupid problem that she'd gotten herself into threatened to distract from that.

Still, she was nervous enough about it that she finally ended up knocking on Ressler's door a few minutes later and telling him about the phone call. “I didn't kill this guy, I promise. But it was Tom. And that whole situation was such a mess that I – I know I'll be in trouble if this Detective Wilcox keeps going with his investigation.”

Ressler frowned. “There was a witness to all this?”

She nodded, and sat down on his couch. “I paid him, but I doubt it'll be enough.”

He looked at her. “Why didn't you just hypnotize him afterward, make him not be able to talk about it?”

She stared down at the ground, feeling her face warm. “That was right around the time I learned about that ability, and I did it for the first time. I... I wasn't used to it. I didn't want to do it.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You did it to me, but not to a stranger?”

“I did it to you, and then I felt so awful about it that I couldn't bring myself to do it again!” she said. “How many times are you going to make me apologize, Ressler? I'm sorry!” She stood and walked toward the door. “And you know what? I'm sorry for bothering you tonight, too.”

“Liz, wait.” She felt him put his hand on her arm. “You're not bothering me. You're supposed to be able to ask me for help, right?”

She turned. “I'm not – I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do.” That was the last thing she wanted. And if he didn't know that by now...

“I know,” he said quickly. “I'm the one who's sorry, for throwing that in your face again. So do you think you can find this witness again, now?”

“I'm sure I can,” she said. “I'm not sure it would be the best idea, though. Don't you think the police might find it suspicious for me to talk to him?” She walked back over and sat down again.

“Sure, but we could probably arrange for him to casually run into me at the grocery store or something,” Ressler suggested, sitting across from her. “I assume he doesn't know who I am.”

“Okay. Then what? You lure him to me and I make him shut up?” She rubbed her hand across her face. “I still don't like doing that.”

Her partner nodded slowly. “I'm not sure I like it, either. But it would protect you. And that's my job.”

Liz stared at him. He met her eyes, and she didn't see judgement in them. He did look uncertain, which was an emotion she could relate to right now. “God, what did I get myself into?” she muttered. “We're talking about interfering with a police investigation, tampering with a witness...”

“I know,” he said. He swallowed. “Have you talked to Reddington about this?”

She winced, and wasn't fast enough to cover it. “No. I haven't.”

“What happened between you two?”

She sighed. “Nothing happened. It's fine.” She was not ready to try to unpack this with Ressler. Not now.

His look was disbelieving. “I notice things for a living, Keen. I can tell that you two have been on eggshells around each other at work for days now.”

Liz snorted. She almost, almost laughed at his phrasing, but she was quite sure it would have ended with her crying. Instead, she breathed deeply and straightened. “We're working it out, Ressler. I promise. But I can't talk to him about this.”

“Fine. It's up to you,” Ressler said. “But it's not just you who's involved in this. And that's not a complaint – it's a fact.”

“Yeah,” she breathed. She wanted to apologize again. But that wasn't what was necessary now. He needed her to take action. “Let's talk about getting to the witness, Samuel Aleko. He was the caretaker for the boat.” She explained more about how she had found him in the first place, and anything she'd left out about what went down. “For all I know, Wilcox is already talking to him. If so, that's more complicated, but still not impossible to fix.” She tried not to feel too much like a criminal as she spoke. This cop was supposedly on the same side as her.

Ressler said he'd track Aleko down starting tomorrow, and figure out the best way to run into him from there. Then he cleared his throat. “How do you plan to fix the situation if he has already talked to the cops?”

“Make him forget everything. I guess that's all I can do,” she said, clenching her fists. If she focused on how this would make sure Tom wouldn't be able to continue to ruin her life even while he was gone, she could do this. She would do this. “If he completely retracts his statement, he can't testify. I'll also want to make sure he doesn't go to jail, though.” Overall, no one would be hurt.

“Okay. Then we'll get started tomorrow,” Ressler said.

“Thanks, Ressler,” she told him, and it only stuck in her throat a little bit.

~~~~~~

Of course things didn't just unfold smoothly from there. It didn't take long for Ressler to find the man, which was comforting. And he informed Liz privately that it would be simple enough to tail him after work, if she agreed. That would mean he wasn't accompanying Liz back to the apartment that evening, but this was a priority.

She thought things were working out as planned until Red and Dembe approached outside her car. They hadn't even come into the Post Office that day. Ressler had already left, and Red's first nonchalant comment was to remark on this fact. “He's not taking you home?”

“I gave him the night off,” she said.

“That's interesting,” Red said, “because I was under the impression the explanation had more to do with you having another task for him, for which you accompanying him would be a bad idea.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Liz. How could he possibly know? He must be guessing.

“Lizzie, you may have done your best to put the whole matter of your imprisonment of Tom behind you, and I don't blame you for that,” he said. “But I haven't. I know about the detective investigating the harbor master's disappearance, and that he called you.”

She swallowed. “So? He doesn't know anything.”

“He knows enough to suspect your involvement,” was Red's answer. He met her eyes for a long moment, and his expression softened. “You're still upset about the secrets I've kept. I understand. But I do wish you would come to me. I told you I want to spare you from this kind of mess.”

And now she felt like crying again, just as she had on the boat the first time he'd said that. She looked away and tried to get a hold of herself. “But it is my mess. I should clean it up.”

“An admirable sentiment,” he replied. “Responsible of you. What's your plan for when Agent Ressler finds this caretaker?”

“I have to make sure he can't talk. That he can't testify, because he actually doesn't know anything,” she said quietly.

“I'm guessing you don't mean you're going to kill Mr. Aleko,” said Red. “Which means you want to alter his memories.”

She nodded.

“And if the police have already talked to him, and he's admitted his role in Tom's captivity?”

“He still can't testify if he has no actual memory of the events,” she said, sounding as sure as she could.

“So he'll simply be arrested for the crimes he committed,” he finished.

“I won't let that happen,” Liz retorted. “Without a confession –”

“Lizzie,” Red interrupted. “You don't know what evidence the police have. Are you willing to do this carefully, to check the man's memories methodically, and possibly do the same with Detective Wilcox if necessary? And then possibly alter his memories, as well?”

“If I have to,” she said. But she really hoped dealing with the one witness would be enough.

He nodded. “And Donald agrees with this plan?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “I mean, we hadn't talked about confronting the detective. It shouldn't come to that.” So much for not having this conversation with Red. She couldn't even tell if he was mostly disappointed with her, or something else entirely. Deep down, she didn't even know which reaction she would prefer. And that was confusing enough to just about make her doubt her own sanity.

“I'd like to stay close by while you speak to the witness,” Red said, after a pause. “I won't interfere unless you ask me to.”

She hesitated. He was almost asking her permission, which was unheard of. And she could feel that it was costing him. “Fine. Ressler will call with a location when he has him.”

“Good,” Red said, and smiled. “In the meantime, let's get dinner.”

She huffed a laugh, in spite of herself. “I don't know how hungry I am. But I'm sure you have a recommendation.”

His laugh was unrestrained, as usual. “I do, in fact.”

She only half-listened to his description of the Ethiopian restaurant he had in mind. He led her to his car, Dembe in tow, and she tried again to wrap her mind around the fact that this man was her father. It was such a strange fact, and there was so much she still needed to understand. Yet she could tell there was a chance there could be peace, once she got to that point – for her, and for him.

~~~~~~

Ressler called as Liz was finishing her meal. He'd found the man just a few miles from where they currently were, and he wanted to know where they should all meet. “Hold on a second,” she said. She might as well ask Red if he knew a place. And when she told him the address, he did in fact have a suggestion, which she passed on to Ressler. “We – I'll be there. How are you going to convince Aleko to come with you?”

“I'll just tell him I'd like him to answer a few questions,” said Ressler.

“Good,” she agreed. “I know you already know this, but try not to spook him. It's not his fault he got tangled up in this.”

“Got it,” he said, and hung up.

“Are you ready?” Red asked.

“As ready as I can be,” she told him.

They arrived at the empty office building a few minutes later. Liz didn't see Ressler's car, so she assumed they had beaten him there. “Is this place yours?” she asked Red as they went in.

“In a manner of speaking,” he said. “I believe the paperwork would still have a name that could be traced to Gordon Ambrose.”

Liz raised her eyebrows, but didn't ask for clarification. He had never spelled it out for her, but she had already guessed that the other dragon's property would be viewed as Red's after he was so soundly defeated by him – especially when Ambrose had been the aggressor in the first place. “So, now I just need to decide what part of an office would be the best place for an interrogation.”

He chuckled. “May I suggest the CEO's office? It seems traditional.”

He had a point, she supposed. So she texted Ressler to meet them there. Once Red had directed her to the room, he and Dembe withdrew. “I'm just next door, Lizzie.”

“Thanks,” she said, but didn't manage a smile to answer his. She wondered whether this new world of hers – theirs – would ever seem less bizarre. She doubted it.

“Just in here, Mr. Aleko,” she heard Ressler's voice coming down the hall. She positioned herself behind the CEO's desk.

“What kind of place is this?” the man was asking. “I thought we were going to the FBI.”

“No, you're not being formally questioned,” Ressler said, and then the two of them came into the room.

“What the hell?” Aleko's face paled as soon as he saw her.

“It's all right,” she told him quickly. “You're not in danger.”

“Screw this,” he said, trying to shake off Ressler's arm. “I'm getting out of here.”

“Sit down,” she said, and gave the words the extra force and depth that her dragon energy allowed her. The fear left his face, and he did as he was told, sitting across from her. She spared just a thought to the realization that this would be the first time Ressler saw this draconic process with the ability to remember it. “I'll get straight to the point: Mr. Aleko, have the police spoken to you about the boat?”

“Yes,” he said, his eyes glazed and fixed on hers.

“Have they spoken to you about me?”

“Yes,” he repeated.

“Tell me everything they asked, and everything you said,” she directed, suddenly wishing she'd remembered to bring a recorder. But she focused, and paid close attention as he recited what the detective had said. It sounded like Detective Wilcox had only had him in for questioning once, and Aleko had been reluctant to talk.

“I told him he wouldn't believe me if I just told the story straight,” the man said. “I said I wanted a deal, and I'd show him the body.”

“And have you shown him?” Liz pressed.

“Not yet,” said Aleko. “I'm supposed to meet him later. He'll probably call soon.”

Liz exchanged a quick glance with Ressler at that, and also passed that information on in a short message to Red. She needed to finish this soon. “What happened next?”

He blinked. “Detective Wilcox said he would look into setting up a deal in return for my testimony. And he told me not to leave town.”

“What did you say about me?”

“I – I just said you were there. I was nervous to say anything more than that until I knew I had that deal.” A worried expression passed over his face. “What are you going to do to me?”

“I'll get to that,” said Liz. “First, is there anything else I need to know? Anything else about this case? Have you spoken to anyone else?”

“That's it, I swear,” he said. “I didn't tell anyone. It freaked me out too much.”

“Are you sure?”

Now he winced at the increased pressure she was applying. “Yes! I'm sure!”

She relented just slightly. “Good. Then listen closely: I want you to think about everything you were going to tell Detective Wilcox, everything that happened on the boat, and everything that has to do with it.” She saw when he had those memories on the front of his mind. “Now you're going to forget. None of that ever happened. You'll remember speaking to Detective Wilcox, but he has the wrong guy. You didn't witness anything to do with this case. Do you hear me?”

He nodded, and now he looked very confused.

“When Detective Wilcox calls, you tell him he was mistaken. You tell him you can't help him – you don't have any useful information. When you leave here, you'll forget you ever ran into Agent Ressler, too, or that you came here or saw me. Understood?”

He nodded again.

“All right. Now stay there for a minute until I tell you. We'll get you out of here soon.” She released him from her gaze, and he sat, still with that bewildered expression.

Ressler let out a breath. He sounded a little shaky when he spoke. “It sounds like that's taken care of.”

What it sounded like to Liz was that her partner was creeped out. That was hardly surprising, and she didn't blame him, but she couldn't deny it hurt. She pushed the feeling aside for the moment. “For this guy, yes. Red reminded me I can't know how much Wilcox knows, though.”

“So you did talk to Reddington.”

She waved a hand. “This is his place. He cornered me outside of work tonight. Turns out he already knew. Of course.”

Ressler shook his head in acknowledgement of that inevitability, and then looked thoughtful. “So what are you going to do now?”

 _Red, would you mind coming in here?_ she asked mentally, making sure Ressler could hear, too.

He appeared a minute later, Dembe just behind him. “Good evening, Donald. Lizzie, is there a problem?”

“Not a problem, exactly. Aleko is taken care of. But I was thinking about what you said before, about how I can't know for sure what Wilcox knows. Is there something we should do with this guy before he leaves so we can find that out? Preferably something quick, since Wilcox is apparently about to call him?”

“A good idea,” Red said with a nod. “And one I would be happy to deal with, if you'd like to go home.”

“Red,” she started, then paused. She was tired. She had never had to sustain that hypnotizing force for as long as she'd done it this evening, and her sleep the previous night had been far from restful.

“Most likely, there's little left to do. Let me just tie up any loose ends,” he added, when he saw that she was wavering.

“As long as that does not mean any bodily harm to either man,” she said.

“Of course not,” he replied smoothly. “I intend to leave both Mr. Aleko and the good detective perfectly sound, minus any remaining relevant memories.”

She didn't look at Ressler. “Fine. You'll let me know if there's anything else I need to do?” He nodded again. “Thank you.”

“Good night, Lizzie.” For one crazy moment, she thought he might hug her. She had no idea what Ressler would do if he did, especially after everything her partner just seen and heard. But all Red did was bid Ressler farewell, too.

Liz and Ressler left the building in silence. When her partner spoke first, it was only to tell her where he'd parked. She followed him, wondering if he was regretting the agreement he'd made with her, the position he held now. Finally, as they got to the car, she had to speak. “I'm sorry. That was a hell of scene in there.”

“It was,” Ressler agreed. “And I can't say it was fun to watch.”

Her stomach dropped. “It wasn't fun to do, either.” He unlocked the doors, and she got in.

When he got into the driver's seat, he looked at her. “I know that. Liz, I'll tell you if I ever think you're going too far. Okay? So stop worrying about if I'm judging you. And let me remind you, I shot a man in cold blood just to get the information that then led to me almost killing a suspect in cold blood.”

She blinked. It wasn't like she had forgotten the events following Mako Tanida's escape from prison, but she did have to admit that the comparison almost made sense. Still, she opened her mouth to argue that he had done those things because he was grieving. Then she realized he would probably trace this all back to Tom and continue to say the two events carried the same weight. And even if she wasn't sure they did, she didn't want to talk about what Tom's betrayal had done to her. Not with him, and not with anyone. So instead, even though it felt cowardly to give in, she just said, “Okay.”

He started the car, and pulled onto the street. “And I've got to admit, if tonight's the last time any of us has to worry about Tom, I definitely won't mind.”

Liz clenched her jaw. “That would be fantastic,” she muttered.

“You don't think it will be, though,” he added.

“He's not dead, so no,” she said, and realized it had come out a lot more heated than she had intended. When she went on, her voice was calmer. “I'd say I'd be glad to be proven wrong, except I've actually been looking forward to meeting up with him again.”

Ressler scoffed. “You and me both.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I don't have to actually remind you that if you do happen to run across him, and you even think about getting started without me –”

“No, I'm pretty sure I don't need a reminder,” he cut in, with a half smile.


End file.
